I found a book of poems in my grandparents house one night. Reading through it I found little notes my grandfather had left and markings of poems he loved. It was so special! I came across one that I really connected with and it has been in my heart for a long time now. I want to share it with you because of the impact it has had on my life. I hope that you can take something special from it as well!
Nobility
Alice Cary
True worth is in being, not seeming,—
In doing, each day that goes by,
Some little good—not in dreaming
Of great things to do by and by.
For whatever men say in their blindness,
And spite of the fancies of youth,
There's nothing so kingly as kindness,
And nothing so royal as truth.
We get back our mete as we measure—
We cannot do wrong and feel right,
Nor can we give pain and gain pleasure,
For justice avenges each slight.
The air for the wing of the sparrow,
The bush for the robin and wren,
But always the path that is narrow
And straight, for the children of men.
'Tis not in the pages of story
The heart of its ills to beguile,
Though he who makes courtship to glory
Gives all that he hath for her smile.
For when from her heights he has won her,
Alas! it is only to prove
That nothing's so sacred as honor,
And nothing so loyal as love!
We cannot make bargains for blisses,
Nor catch them like fishes in nets;
And sometimes the thing our life misses
Helps more than the thing which it gets.
For good lieth not in pursuing,
Nor gaining of great nor of small,
But just in the doing, and doing
As we would be done by, is all.
Through envy, through malice, through hating,
Against the world, ,early and late.
No jot of our courage abating
Our part is to work and to wait
And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth.
For he who is honest is noble
Whatever his fortunes or birth.
I am unemployed.
There. I said it. After months of telling people I had a job, after making up careers to people I knew I would never see again ( I will probably still do that) I can finally admit to everyone and to myself, that I do not have a job.
Whoa is me right? I guess I can join the rest of the 22 year olds in the world who thought they would have their dream jobs by now.
The reason I am telling you all this, is because of an interesting conversation I had last night with one of Noahs coworkers. When asked what I did, I told them I was unemployed. It was the first time I had really told anyone that. As soon as it came out of my mouth I was scared to hear their reaction. All they said was, "No shame in that, everyone's been there. So what do you WANT to do?" And it hit me. Everyone has experienced this. I don't know why I never thought of this. It was just a few months ago that Noah was experiencing this same exact thing. Even though this was a very difficult time for us, we grew a lot in our relationship. We figured out that it is more important to be happy then to have all the material things that we thought we needed.
I think the worst part about the whole unemployment thing is that most of my friends are older than I am. They have all been through what I am going through now, but they are past it. They have careers and are living independently which is something that I really want to experience right now. But having their support and advice has really helped me take this challenge in life and turn it into an oppertunity to grow.
There has been a good side to all of this. I have realized what it is I really want to do and I am going to do everything I can do have a career doing something I am passionate about. Even though it may be more stressful, it is worth it to me in the long run to enjoy what I do. It has also made (forced) me to be extremely frugal with my money. I have learned that in life, the things that mean the most are not things at all. It is the experiences and love that you have around you. That is why when I do start to get some income, I am starting a travel savings account! COSTA RICA HERE I COME.
To start, I want you to know that I am creating this blog as an outlet; creative, emotional, funny, inspirational, what have you. I think it will be a great time of reflection for me, and hopefully you will grab something from it as well. Lets dive in.
The meaning for Finding Favor comes from my favorite biblical story. Its about a young girl named Esther who experiences a true rags to riches lifestyle change. Her journey beings when this king basically has the first bachelor show on record. He goes through all the women in his kingdom to find his new love. As you might guess, he chooses Esther. After 12 months, yes 12, of beauty treatments Esther is finally allowed to be presented as the new Queen. As most women in a bauty pagent, she has a platform. It is nothing about saving stray puppies or ending bad hair days, it is saving her people, Jews, from extinction. Quite a platform. So to sum it up, Esther must find favor from the king so that she can save her family.
This might seem simple seeing as she just won the most insane beauty pagent of all time, but, the king had a reputation for killing his wives. (How else do you think Esther got an audition?) Esther must trust in God, her faith and her family to pull this off. And what do you know, her bravery and poise wins her the gold!
Esther found favor by being herself. She was true to her faith and values and she found favor with both God and her king. (And I assume the Jewish race as well... she did save them all.)
So- Finding Favor to me means finding and experiencing my life mission. Through what Esther accomplished I see what it takes to find favor. Guts, Faith and a few beauty treatments every now and then!
Now, I had planned on writing about whats going on in my life right now, with jobs (or lack of) relationships and stress. But I just realized how unimportant some things are that I do worry over. Thanks to Esther I realize that I have found favor in myself today by getting a lot done and taking a few step forward towards my goals! Now, I think I will find favor in a margarita with a dear friend!
Asheton
