Being around kids all the time has really challenged me to use my imagination. Some days I imagine that I am on vacation and not playing hair studio for the fifth time that day. Sometimes I imagine what these kids could possibly be thinking of, or in more cases than not, not thinking of. The other day, Emma, the five year old I have the pleasure of nannying, reached her hand into the sky and said, "Look, Asheton! My hand is giving me a high-five in the clouds! Now it's waving! Do you see it?" I laughed and told her she would have to show me. She replied with a surprisingly straight forward answer, "Well, you can't see it. I was just using my imagimication." It was at this moment that I realized how much we boring adults miss out on something as great as an imagimication.
Exactly how much do we miss when we don't use our imagination? Without getting too Peter Pan on everyone, I think it is an idea that we should entertain. Especially creative's. How often do you look at your lunch and imagine you are eating your last meal because you are on the run and it might be your last? How many times a day do you get lost in a day dream about something completely ridiculous? If you were really honest, when was the last time you got lost in a good book? Not a movie, a book.
Movies are great. I really enjoy them and without them I know I would have missed some great stories. The ninety minutes you spend getting lost in a story on film could take you places your never deemed possible. But in all reality, the people who made that movie that you are getting so lost in, are providing the story for you. They are taking you to far off lands and on adventures so epic you know they would never happen in your lifetime. Not only do they provide the story, but the mood, the setting and even the color temperature of the scenes have been chosen for you, the viewer.
Now think about reading a book. It's all words. Maybe a few pictures here and there, but for most adults (most) picture books are a thing of childhood.
Without an image, words are the only things that can describe to you what this story is like. You use these words to imagine what the dress the girl in your story is wearing looks like. What the weather was like, even things as detailed as what her eye shape was. You do all these things using your imagination. Movies, on the other hand provide you with an actor. You know exactly what they look like because they are right in front of you. You know if it is raining or just drizzling. You can see the anguish, joy or surprise on their face because it is projected on a screen. Your imagination, after all those images, is left with little to work with.
I challenge everyone (still) reading, to take a moment and imagine something beautiful. Then something sad, then something exciting. Imagine as many things as you can or want! See where these things take you. See how detailed you can be. Even if you are only imaging a bowl, what is in the bowl, is it filled or empty? If it is full, what is it full of? If you imagined it empty, what could you fill it with?
You will be surprised where your own images take you. You may find your self happily lost in your own imagimication.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Forgiveness Is More Than Saying Sorry....
We've all experienced it. People in our lives have hurt us and we have hurt others. Whether it be a tiff with a friend, hurtful words from a significant other or even a disagreement between family. No one is safe from a broken heart.
But when tempers have calmed, and understandings have been found, where does that leave the ones who have been hurt?
Contrary to many bad romantic comedies, the answer lies within the one that has been wronged. It is up to us to forgive. No amount of guilt can reverse a situation. No matter how much we want to keep blaming someone for hurtful things that have happened in the past, that void and emptiness inside our hearts can only be fixed by forgiving.
It's never fun, and in my experience it has been known to take a very long time. It's something that I am not proud of and am working on in a case by case type situation.
It always seems easier to use remedies to avoid the act of forgiveness. There is always revenge, which is fun for a minute. But as history has proved many times over, it just starts a new cycle of hurting. Guilting someone to death just takes too much energy and time. Eventually you wake up and realize you are over the situation. Then all those feelings of guilt you threw on someone just make you look like you took advantage of someone else's mistakes.
But truly the remedy that can hurt the most is changing your life so that you just don't face the situation. You can try and drown it in nights out; you can cover it up with blankets and stay in bed for weeks. You can try and put as many friends and addresses and numbers between you and the problem. But in the end, it just makes a bigger and different kind of void.
At the end of a long road of remedies, all that is left is forgiveness. In this place people come to rest. They come to a realization that bad things happen; that people hurt us, and that we hurt others. That sometimes business seems a little to personal and that promises of trust were made with an expiration date.
No matter the story, no matter who's fault it really was. No matter how much we ask ourselves why and what was I thinking? No one is safe from broken hearts.
So try and find forgiveness in anyway that you can. Do it now, fix it today. You don't even need the other person involved around. Because forgiving yourself and forgiving someone else can only be found within you.
"To err is human, to forgive is divine."
But when tempers have calmed, and understandings have been found, where does that leave the ones who have been hurt?
Contrary to many bad romantic comedies, the answer lies within the one that has been wronged. It is up to us to forgive. No amount of guilt can reverse a situation. No matter how much we want to keep blaming someone for hurtful things that have happened in the past, that void and emptiness inside our hearts can only be fixed by forgiving.
It's never fun, and in my experience it has been known to take a very long time. It's something that I am not proud of and am working on in a case by case type situation.
It always seems easier to use remedies to avoid the act of forgiveness. There is always revenge, which is fun for a minute. But as history has proved many times over, it just starts a new cycle of hurting. Guilting someone to death just takes too much energy and time. Eventually you wake up and realize you are over the situation. Then all those feelings of guilt you threw on someone just make you look like you took advantage of someone else's mistakes.
But truly the remedy that can hurt the most is changing your life so that you just don't face the situation. You can try and drown it in nights out; you can cover it up with blankets and stay in bed for weeks. You can try and put as many friends and addresses and numbers between you and the problem. But in the end, it just makes a bigger and different kind of void.
At the end of a long road of remedies, all that is left is forgiveness. In this place people come to rest. They come to a realization that bad things happen; that people hurt us, and that we hurt others. That sometimes business seems a little to personal and that promises of trust were made with an expiration date.
No matter the story, no matter who's fault it really was. No matter how much we ask ourselves why and what was I thinking? No one is safe from broken hearts.
So try and find forgiveness in anyway that you can. Do it now, fix it today. You don't even need the other person involved around. Because forgiving yourself and forgiving someone else can only be found within you.
"To err is human, to forgive is divine."
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The List
When little girls are growing up, we are constantly told that we are princesses. We are made to believe in fairy tales, and convinced that most men will absolutely adore us. We look to our fathers as pillars of strength and love; if we have brothers we learn that living with a boy can get messy. And at slumber parties we giggle and squeal about our latest crushes, which we are certain are our soul mates.
Then High school rolls around. A small dose of reality sets in and we realize that not all boys are good. That our fathers are probably the greatest men around, and that brothers, while still gross, come in handy for rides and alibis.
Then comes, THE LIST. If you grew up in a Christian home or just the South in general and have been to an all girls small group, you know what The List is. The List is complied with traits that our future boyfriends and husbands should posses. Once you write down all the things that one man should embody, you then read it out loud to the group. The most standard lists read; loves God, has a good family, works hard, has brown hair, blue eyes and the abs of a Greek god. (Because don't kid yourself, looks matter.)
Sometimes someone will write down something original and the entire group will compliment her on her introspective way of choosing a mate.
If anyone is guilty of indulging themselves in The List, my girlfriends and I are probably looking at jail time.
We would pull out our lists and update them like they were resumes. Sometimes altering them for a boy that we really liked but didn't quite meet the standard we were looking for. We thought of those lists as a ticket to easy dating. Almost like we had set up and ad on Craigslist and that any moment we would get exactly one reply and that person would be our greatest love. That way we could cut out the middle man and just get straight to the point. The point being, engaged by 21 married at 22 first baby at 25 and.... is their life past 25?
Don't get me wrong. As much as I am taking jabs at that ritual, there are some really great things about that list. For one, it makes you realize what your priorities should be when dating someone. It makes you think are you dating them because they are handsome or a star athlete? Or is it because they are kind and interesting. Someone that is fun to be around and respects your opinion?
Now that I think about it, by making a bunch of 16 year old teenagers make theses lists, they probably saved us a lot of heartache in high school and possibly some teen pregnancies. But I'm sure the boys looked at those lists like they were the one piece of paper getting in between them and some girl who looked great in a pair of
What I am getting at here, is that very rarely those lists said, "I want my future mate to love me unconditionally." And growing in to women, most of those teenage girls forget to look beyond the list and simply ask, "Does he love me because of who I am and in spite of who I am not." And there, my friends, is the beginning of every romantic comedy you have ever seen.
So many young women forget to ask themselves that. They go out trying to find a man who possesses the most qualities from a list that was designed for teenagers. They begin to wonder why their fairytale has not happened. They become desperate to find their dark haired blue eyed hero. They may even compromise their, "has Greek god abs," for, "has great job."
This was written to remind all those little princesses to look beyond what society or your List tells you. Because when you find one good man, you will realize that the things he has to offer you overshadow that stupid list so much. You begin to forget it existed. The way you treats family, the way he tells you he's sorry when he acts like an idiot, the way he makes you promises and you know that he's good for them. The way he loves you like you could never imagine, the way he loves you when you can't even love yourself. Those are the things that should have made The List. But, unfortunately, those are things that you just have to learn for yourself. You can't even recognize those things unless you experience them. It is almost like a small miracle to witness someone, other than your parents, love you because of exactly who you are. And the things that you thought would be an issue, the things that compromise your List, simply turn into quarks that make him all yours.
Look past The List, in every aspect of your life. That job might not be your dream job. But the things you could learn there, the people that you encounter could really change your life. Make a new List. Fill it with things that you want to experience, fill it with things that you want to give people, fill it with things that will make you step outside your comfort zone so that you can love people unconditionally.
Monday, July 18, 2011
True Worth Is In Being Not Seeming
I found a book of poems in my grandparents house one night. Reading through it I found little notes my grandfather had left and markings of poems he loved. It was so special! I came across one that I really connected with and it has been in my heart for a long time now. I want to share it with you because of the impact it has had on my life. I hope that you can take something special from it as well!
Alice Cary
True worth is in being, not seeming,—
In doing, each day that goes by,
Some little good—not in dreaming
Of great things to do by and by.
For whatever men say in their blindness,
And spite of the fancies of youth,
There's nothing so kingly as kindness,
And nothing so royal as truth.
We get back our mete as we measure—
We cannot do wrong and feel right,
Nor can we give pain and gain pleasure,
For justice avenges each slight.
The air for the wing of the sparrow,
The bush for the robin and wren,
But always the path that is narrow
And straight, for the children of men.
'Tis not in the pages of story
The heart of its ills to beguile,
Though he who makes courtship to glory
Gives all that he hath for her smile.
For when from her heights he has won her,
Alas! it is only to prove
That nothing's so sacred as honor,
And nothing so loyal as love!
We cannot make bargains for blisses,
Nor catch them like fishes in nets;
And sometimes the thing our life misses
Helps more than the thing which it gets.
For good lieth not in pursuing,
Nor gaining of great nor of small,
But just in the doing, and doing
As we would be done by, is all.
Through envy, through malice, through hating,
Against the world, ,early and late.
No jot of our courage abating
Our part is to work and to wait
And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth.
For he who is honest is noble
Whatever his fortunes or birth.
Nobility
Alice Cary
True worth is in being, not seeming,—
In doing, each day that goes by,
Some little good—not in dreaming
Of great things to do by and by.
For whatever men say in their blindness,
And spite of the fancies of youth,
There's nothing so kingly as kindness,
And nothing so royal as truth.
We get back our mete as we measure—
We cannot do wrong and feel right,
Nor can we give pain and gain pleasure,
For justice avenges each slight.
The air for the wing of the sparrow,
The bush for the robin and wren,
But always the path that is narrow
And straight, for the children of men.
'Tis not in the pages of story
The heart of its ills to beguile,
Though he who makes courtship to glory
Gives all that he hath for her smile.
For when from her heights he has won her,
Alas! it is only to prove
That nothing's so sacred as honor,
And nothing so loyal as love!
We cannot make bargains for blisses,
Nor catch them like fishes in nets;
And sometimes the thing our life misses
Helps more than the thing which it gets.
For good lieth not in pursuing,
Nor gaining of great nor of small,
But just in the doing, and doing
As we would be done by, is all.
Through envy, through malice, through hating,
Against the world, ,early and late.
No jot of our courage abating
Our part is to work and to wait
And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth.
For he who is honest is noble
Whatever his fortunes or birth.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Barbie Had 50 Careers, Why Can't I Have 1?
I am unemployed.
There. I said it. After months of telling people I had a job, after making up careers to people I knew I would never see again ( I will probably still do that) I can finally admit to everyone and to myself, that I do not have a job.
Whoa is me right? I guess I can join the rest of the 22 year olds in the world who thought they would have their dream jobs by now.
The reason I am telling you all this, is because of an interesting conversation I had last night with one of Noahs coworkers. When asked what I did, I told them I was unemployed. It was the first time I had really told anyone that. As soon as it came out of my mouth I was scared to hear their reaction. All they said was, "No shame in that, everyone's been there. So what do you WANT to do?" And it hit me. Everyone has experienced this. I don't know why I never thought of this. It was just a few months ago that Noah was experiencing this same exact thing. Even though this was a very difficult time for us, we grew a lot in our relationship. We figured out that it is more important to be happy then to have all the material things that we thought we needed.
I think the worst part about the whole unemployment thing is that most of my friends are older than I am. They have all been through what I am going through now, but they are past it. They have careers and are living independently which is something that I really want to experience right now. But having their support and advice has really helped me take this challenge in life and turn it into an oppertunity to grow.
There has been a good side to all of this. I have realized what it is I really want to do and I am going to do everything I can do have a career doing something I am passionate about. Even though it may be more stressful, it is worth it to me in the long run to enjoy what I do. It has also made (forced) me to be extremely frugal with my money. I have learned that in life, the things that mean the most are not things at all. It is the experiences and love that you have around you. That is why when I do start to get some income, I am starting a travel savings account! COSTA RICA HERE I COME.
There. I said it. After months of telling people I had a job, after making up careers to people I knew I would never see again ( I will probably still do that) I can finally admit to everyone and to myself, that I do not have a job.
Whoa is me right? I guess I can join the rest of the 22 year olds in the world who thought they would have their dream jobs by now.
The reason I am telling you all this, is because of an interesting conversation I had last night with one of Noahs coworkers. When asked what I did, I told them I was unemployed. It was the first time I had really told anyone that. As soon as it came out of my mouth I was scared to hear their reaction. All they said was, "No shame in that, everyone's been there. So what do you WANT to do?" And it hit me. Everyone has experienced this. I don't know why I never thought of this. It was just a few months ago that Noah was experiencing this same exact thing. Even though this was a very difficult time for us, we grew a lot in our relationship. We figured out that it is more important to be happy then to have all the material things that we thought we needed.
I think the worst part about the whole unemployment thing is that most of my friends are older than I am. They have all been through what I am going through now, but they are past it. They have careers and are living independently which is something that I really want to experience right now. But having their support and advice has really helped me take this challenge in life and turn it into an oppertunity to grow.
There has been a good side to all of this. I have realized what it is I really want to do and I am going to do everything I can do have a career doing something I am passionate about. Even though it may be more stressful, it is worth it to me in the long run to enjoy what I do. It has also made (forced) me to be extremely frugal with my money. I have learned that in life, the things that mean the most are not things at all. It is the experiences and love that you have around you. That is why when I do start to get some income, I am starting a travel savings account! COSTA RICA HERE I COME.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Sometimes Beginnings Come in the Middle
To start, I want you to know that I am creating this blog as an outlet; creative, emotional, funny, inspirational, what have you. I think it will be a great time of reflection for me, and hopefully you will grab something from it as well. Lets dive in.
The meaning for Finding Favor comes from my favorite biblical story. Its about a young girl named Esther who experiences a true rags to riches lifestyle change. Her journey beings when this king basically has the first bachelor show on record. He goes through all the women in his kingdom to find his new love. As you might guess, he chooses Esther. After 12 months, yes 12, of beauty treatments Esther is finally allowed to be presented as the new Queen. As most women in a bauty pagent, she has a platform. It is nothing about saving stray puppies or ending bad hair days, it is saving her people, Jews, from extinction. Quite a platform. So to sum it up, Esther must find favor from the king so that she can save her family.
This might seem simple seeing as she just won the most insane beauty pagent of all time, but, the king had a reputation for killing his wives. (How else do you think Esther got an audition?) Esther must trust in God, her faith and her family to pull this off. And what do you know, her bravery and poise wins her the gold!
Esther found favor by being herself. She was true to her faith and values and she found favor with both God and her king. (And I assume the Jewish race as well... she did save them all.)
So- Finding Favor to me means finding and experiencing my life mission. Through what Esther accomplished I see what it takes to find favor. Guts, Faith and a few beauty treatments every now and then!
Now, I had planned on writing about whats going on in my life right now, with jobs (or lack of) relationships and stress. But I just realized how unimportant some things are that I do worry over. Thanks to Esther I realize that I have found favor in myself today by getting a lot done and taking a few step forward towards my goals! Now, I think I will find favor in a margarita with a dear friend!
Asheton
The meaning for Finding Favor comes from my favorite biblical story. Its about a young girl named Esther who experiences a true rags to riches lifestyle change. Her journey beings when this king basically has the first bachelor show on record. He goes through all the women in his kingdom to find his new love. As you might guess, he chooses Esther. After 12 months, yes 12, of beauty treatments Esther is finally allowed to be presented as the new Queen. As most women in a bauty pagent, she has a platform. It is nothing about saving stray puppies or ending bad hair days, it is saving her people, Jews, from extinction. Quite a platform. So to sum it up, Esther must find favor from the king so that she can save her family.
This might seem simple seeing as she just won the most insane beauty pagent of all time, but, the king had a reputation for killing his wives. (How else do you think Esther got an audition?) Esther must trust in God, her faith and her family to pull this off. And what do you know, her bravery and poise wins her the gold!
Esther found favor by being herself. She was true to her faith and values and she found favor with both God and her king. (And I assume the Jewish race as well... she did save them all.)
So- Finding Favor to me means finding and experiencing my life mission. Through what Esther accomplished I see what it takes to find favor. Guts, Faith and a few beauty treatments every now and then!
Now, I had planned on writing about whats going on in my life right now, with jobs (or lack of) relationships and stress. But I just realized how unimportant some things are that I do worry over. Thanks to Esther I realize that I have found favor in myself today by getting a lot done and taking a few step forward towards my goals! Now, I think I will find favor in a margarita with a dear friend!
Asheton
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